Who I am at 25.
March 11th, 2020 is my 25th birthday.
Yeah, Iâve walked this earth a quarter of a century. Iâm writing this as a letter to myself and for others finding themselves coming of the same age and perhaps with similar lessons learned, experiences had, and hopes for the future.
At times it feels like Iâve lived an eternity, and other times I am reminded at how far have yet to go. Life seems to be moving in slow motion and hyper speed at the same time. There are days where I feel completely in control of my life, and days when I donât know which way is up. The âquarter-life crisisâ is upon me.
Gone are the all-nighters that turned into early mornings, and all the spontaneous shenanigans conjured by late night libations. Hangovers are haunting and strike me with an unforgiving ferocity. My priorities have shifted and my perspective is constantly being stretched, twisted, and redefined through experiences I have and the people I meet.
[bctt tweet=”You canât appreciate winning until youâve experienced losing. The struggles have sharpened my sense of self and strengthened my resilience.” username=”heisfiwa”]Iâve learned that struggle can definitely be real. If you havenât experienced it yet, you will â in your own way and with your own obstacles. The rationing of paychecks, the nearly unbearable hit to the ego of sending in resume after resume only to get rejected, or even worse â no reply at all. There are times that $50.00 can feel like $500.00 and has to be stretched to make every penny count. Then thereâs the occasional self-inflicted psych outs where you become riddled with doubt and question every recent decision youâve made and are currently making.
âAm I doing the right thing?â
âAm I where Iâm supposed to be?â
âHow come I canât seem to win?â
Iâve had my ups and downs. My highs and my lows. Iâve had a great paying job and now a stable passive income as a freelancer consulting for multiple firms, and been let go of in what seemed like a blink of an eye. But I am a firm believer that you canât appreciate winning until youâve experienced losing. The struggles have sharpened my sense of self and strengthened my resilience.
Iâve been lucky enough to fall in love. It was one of the greatest things to happen to me. It helped me understand what I bring to a relationship and what I need from my significant other. It showed me how empowered a man can feel with the right woman by his side, as a âteammateâ and it inverse. It made me want to be better. And even though that relationship is no more, the experience made me better, aware self-awareness, self love, and appreciate the next relationship.
Iâve been blessed with amazing people around me, who support me, and teach me so much just by them being themselves. My friends come from different backgrounds, creeds, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and everything in between. I wouldnât have it any other way. My family has stood behind me and backed me with love and support through thick and thin. I lucked out.
As Iâve matured, there are personality traits Iâve been able to tweak, strengthen, and even shed when necessary. But the one that has stayed strong throughout my life is my passionate curiosity. Itâs almost childlike. I am intrigued by just about everything (except algebra) and have an unquenchable thirst to know more. I hope in my coming years, no matter what happens to me, good or bad, I never lose it.
So at 25, itâs become evident that even though I have experienced a lot and learned more, Iâve only just begun. Thereâs no time to dwell on what couldâve been, what I donât have, or where that I may not be where Iâd like to be professionally. Call it clichÃĐ, but everything happens for a reason. The lowest lows can be the best lessons; lessons needed for later use.
Do what you can with what you have and keep your vision fixated on your goals.
I donât believe in the pursuit of perfection. Perfection is unattainable. Instead, I am working on âperfecting the pursuitâ; weaving the knowledge from lessons learned into my everyday life and working on becoming the best man I can be.
Thank You for Reading
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AboutTimilehin Adesanya
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